Divorce can be a painful experience for anyone to go through. However, if you have children, you will need to explain what is happening and how their lives will likely change going forward. Let’s go over some items that you should discuss with your children about your upcoming divorce.
Mom and Dad Still Love You
The first thing that you need to tell your child is that they still have the love and support of both parents. This is crucial because children often think that the end of a marriage means that one or both parents will abandon them entirely. In many cases, children can adjust to life after a divorce if they have a relationship with both their mother and father.
The Marriage Wasn’t a Failure
Children and adults alike may believe that ending a relationship means that it was a failure. However, this is not necessarily the case. It is possible to learn about yourself and what you truly want out of life by spending time with people who you aren’t compatible with. Your children should know that it’s alright to end relationships if they don’t work out or aren’t working in their current forms.
The Other Parent Is a Good Person
You should make it a point to tell your child that you still have respect for his or her other parent. Even if you don’t actually get along with that person, it is important that your child still respects that individual as an authority figure. Additionally, refraining from being mean or nasty toward the other parent prevents the child from being put in the middle of a battle that they aren’t really a part of.
There Are Still Rules to Follow
Children do better when they have structure in their lives. Part of providing structure in a child’s life is to create and enforce rules that are in effect at all times. When a kid has concrete expectations and boundaries, there is a less of a chance that you will be a victim of a guilt trip or other shenanigans.
Don’t Be Afraid to Talk About What’s Happening
You should make it clear that your child has the right to talk about the divorce at any time. In many divorce cases, children are unlikely to open up about their feelings because they aren’t sure that anyone cares. If your child doesn’t want to talk to you, find a therapist that your son or daughter feels comfortable around.
Children may feel afraid or vulnerable after a divorce. By being open and honest about what they can expect from the process, it can make it easier for them to adjust. Ultimately, your goal is to do what is best for the child now and until your child becomes an adult.